Nigerian, who are you?

Every Nigerian must read this lovely and thought provoking piece written by Prof. Pius Adesanmi.

I am hoping that this question will be asked by 180 million tongues so that we may arrive at a collective version of the same interrogation: just who the hell are we as Nigerians?

Also, this will be a rather long read, meant only for the deep. If you are the intellectually shallow type who easily dismisses dogon turenchi and grumbles that reflection is too long, heed my advice and stop reading this essay now. It is not meant for you. Go and spend your time on entertainment blogs and celebrity gossip magazines.

SATIRE: The Price of Iranu - Prof. Pius Adesanmi

Another satirical piece on the state of the nation and more written by Prof. Pius Adesanmi,

Mama Isanlu told me the story of Pa Alainikanse ton f'ari fun aja. So idle was Pa Alainikanse that he spent much of his life shaving the head of his dog. The neighbours got used to the fact that Pa Alainikanse's blades and clippers were meant exclusively for the head of his dog.

Then came the day when lice, dandruff and other scalp problems reminded Pa Alainikanse that he needed a haircut badly. Alas, all his blades and clippers had been blunted by years of use on his dog's head. So, he screamed and appealed desperately to his neighbours, begging them to lend him blades and clippers because he needed a haircut.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Please Rise Up to Recognize the Presence of Thieves - Pius Adesanmi

That Nigerian-Canadian civil servant, Nellie Mayshak, spent years working for the government of Ontario. Not one accusation of stealing and corruption.

Then she goes back home to work in Nigeria and steals from Nigerian pensioners humongous amounts of money that would have crippled the economy of Ontario had she stolen a fraction of such amounts while she was here.

Your Evil Justifies My Evil - Prof. Pius Adesanmi

Anytime you hear a Nigerian veer into a conversation whose nuances s/he can't even grasp with "it is our culture and it is none of your business", rush to the nearest clinic and take vaccination shots against stupidity before you move near this Nigerian again lest s/he infests you with the stupidity virus.